RECORD COLD TEMPS SIGNIFY GLOBAL WARMING, according to "The Day After Tomorrow" fanatics.
Global warming fanatics including AlGore threw a secret press conference on the internet yesterday. Besides the freezing temperatures across the nation, other topics discussed were the drive to drive up oil prices, and how to salvage the Kyoto accords. An upside of the cold temps was increased conductivity on wires that didn't snap from the cold. Overall, bandwidth was up, but being monopolized by millions of idiots online blaming the record cold tempuratures on "global warming", with Bush's re-election a close second.